You're Worth More Than You Know
Hi Friend,
It’s currently 5:04am and I’m writing in my bed. Yes, we’re talking in my boxers, sitting butterfly stance, all while pillows are keeping my laptop at bay.
Since college, I learned that the heat from laying a laptop onto your thighs can negatively affect the production of your sperm. Therefore, it’s just pillows stacked up like a Jenga block as I hunch forward in the darkness.
I may have horrible posture, a future-numbed foot, and massive eye bags under my eyes due to lack of sleep and the blue light blaring at my face… but at least the temperature of my sperm is level.
Anyway, I’m writing today because I’ve been having panic attacks lately. It seems everything is coming at me in full force and I want you to take the lessons from my wrongdoings into play.
Today we’re going to be talking about my work. I’m a creative director who doesn’t know how to price himself. I’m a perfectionist where, regardless of the pay, I will do everything to make sure something looks beautiful for the campaign.
I’m here to brag right now.
There’s a reason why I’ve done over 1k+ campaigns since 2012.
There’s a reason why I have over 2.5 Billion views in the last two years.
There’s a reason why I have helped acquire over 20 million subscribers for different influencers since 2020.
The list continues… but I severely undercharge myself because of:
Insecurity: due to my gambling woes, my abusive past, and so many other factors I always have it in me that I’m never good enough. That I don’t deserve a bump.
Basically insecurity.
Well, this all came crashing down and in full steam right now.
I haven’t been gambling lately, so my head is above the clouds and in the clear.
I was hired by an AI company to build out their influencer partnership arm: with $48,000 I would manage about 8-12 influencers to create content for their page. This would be a mix of collab partnerships all the way to in-feed posts.
Well… I would end up:
Brainstorming (for hours) with each influencer their video idea
Brainstorming and creating original organic videos
I filmed, edited, and re-edited many of these videos
I set up scouting locations to shoot standalone non-influencer videos that would live off TikTok and FB Ads: this requires casting
I got called as well to build their ads campaigns from scratch.
Basically, I’m a one-man full-service agency.
And, the results speak for themselves.
In a month I increased the AI’s IG view, impression, reach, and engagement count by over 1,000%. Built their entire influencer cohort from scratch
And on the ad side:
Increased their CTR (click-through rate) from 3% to now 12% on ads
Decreased their CAC (customer acquisition cost) by 50%
Decreased their CPC (cost per click) from an avg of $1.42 to an avg 0.08cents
I’m exhausted.
I’m burnt.
And this all came to a fucking halt when this consulting they hired basically suggested something that doesn’t make any sense. Basically, just another white person in marketing who always wants to have a say with anything you create: even if the video performs well they’re like “it needed xyz”.
And, when I realized that this person knows how to “manage-up” correctly to a point where they can justify getting paid a ridiculous hourly rate.
I fucking lost it internally.
I’m not mad at them. I’m mad at myself.
How does an unqualified bullshitter who knows how to tick up the corporate ladder get paid so much? Because she’s able to negotiate herself to that point.
I see the value she brings, my mentor (who does billions of views as well and is an advisor to said AI company) sees the value she brings, and we’re both shocked regarding this woman’s hourly rate.
But, it’s typical in every company.
There’s always that someone who may have one hit once in a while, but in reality doesn’t really bring much value to the company.
So I sat there.
Haven’t gambled.
With a clearer head.
Now I was nervous to tell my mentor / advisor of the company what I’ve been doing lately to see if I could get my compensation up…
I didn’t want to act like those entitled individuals who believe in not putting the extra effort, or always believe they’re worth more than what they’re not, or feel like there are some jobs that are beneath them, and/or basically the “main character” energy vibe.
It’s like listen, you’ve just started working, or “you’re not really or have done that much”… let’s not kid ourselves.
But this isn’t true in my case.
Fuck it.
I deserve it.
My team, I try to hire when I can (dependent on my bank account) deserves it.
We deserve it.
I told my mentor what I’ve been doing, and after she verified every detail, she told me I need to 4x my current rate. I’m bragging to all of you, but oddly I don’t know how to brag about my skills or take credit for what I do in company settings.
The Head of Operations and Head of the Creative Department at this company have sent emails to my mentor - on how amazing I’m performing and the results they’re getting from me…
However, on the outset, on the public internal big group slack, it’s the people with the loud-mouths who get the hearts and pluses.
Well, I’m done with that bullshit.
I don’t want become a loud-mouth bragger like what I’m doing today, with all of you.
But, I do want my flowers.
And, I want these flowers to come in the form of money.
I’m not gambling right now.
I’m less insecure.
I’m not gambling right now.
I can actually build instead of just “paying off”.
I’m not gambling right now.
So I’ll have something to show as I’m getting rewarded.
I don’t gamble.
So I can finally stand up for myself without feeling guilty.
I. Don’t. Gamble.
So I’m thinking clearly.
I’m going to negotiate what I’m worth times 2x.
Because you don’t get what you deserve, you get what you negotiate.
So many people know how to do this (especially women and white men).
Asian men are the worst at doing this…
It’s time to fix this part of my life.
I’m not getting any younger.
Starting now. I’m fighting even harder for myself.
It starts today.
Hi,
My name is Jonathan Gaurano and it’s time to think about myself, my career, my team first, the people who I support, the community I’m lucky to have, and my friends first.
Still going to be the nice guy who puts in the extra effort.
But as my friend who yelled at me a few hours ago - said, “Jonathan, you piss me off because ever since I’ve known you, people love taking advantage of you. Stop it. You’re worth more than you know.”
You’re worth more than you know.
Thanks for listening as always.
Location: My bed - North Hollywood, California